Gleaning Meaning out of Monotony

(Entry below was handwritten on 8/19/2002 about the movie ‘Ghostworld’ and Enid, the main character)

Enid. In many ways she is my heroine, at least the one that is closest to who I actually am- in life, in style, in attitude. She seems more carefree and unwilling to apologize for herself or give in to conformity. To her, I would be the ultimate sell-out, foregoing any kind of meaningful life by losing myself in collegiate classrooms and a boring office job. Enid knows there is more to life than consumerism and mediocrity, and we can only count on ourselves to discover what possibilities are out there that life truly holds.

Reality is depressing, sure, but in a society driven by money, greed, status, and material possessions, the artistic and sensitive souls like ours must find our way somehow. We must glean meaning out of the monotony. Somewhere finding a balance between remaining true to ourselves and our simple natures (which is what we really want) and still existing in this surface world of warped priorities. The confusion and frustration and pressure is enough to make you lose your mind and wonder if anything is even worth it. But the ‘learning to deal’ part is the one that is most muddled and solitary. Each individual can only attempt to solve the question for him or herself, as much as possible anyway. Because no one can really know all the reasons behind everything, or know why life is unfair and often painful.

Is it just North America? Or has all the world become homogenized by some few huge corporations? Where are the societies that aren’t run by the desire to make a fast buck? Will all advertisers go to hell for promoting and force-feeding us some false ideal and always making us feel bad about who we are?

What becomes of Enid at the end of ‘Ghostworld’? Does she remain an aimless drifter forever? Does she find her scene and a group of amazing friends? Does she become homeless and live on the street? It’s a very real possibility that I will remain in my dull job, lonely, sadly watching others go about their happiness and wondering where my share went. That could be the hand I am dealt if some miracle doesn’t occur while I am going through the stifling motions of the day-to-day. ‘Ghostworld’ ends leaving more questions than answers, very much like life in a way.

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December 13, 2012. Tags: , . movies, writing.

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