Give Me This Moment -Writing Prompt

Prompt: “Sit down right now. Give me this moment. Write whatever’s running through you. Stay present with whatever comes up, and keep your hand moving” (fromWriting Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg).

My Response:
(hand written on 5/2/2002)

In this moment I do not want to be here. I wonder how many moments in life people waste by not doing what they want to do or being where they want to be. Right now I want to be home, asleep. This is a moment of a lapse in work, an empty, barren time with no productivity, no fruits.

This is a time when my phone isn’t ringing and I can only sit and remember fantasies playing out in my head this morning about him. Right now I tell myself I am courageous, but I haven’t had a chance to test that yet.

This moment is one where I just finished listening to Shirley Manson croon her B-side “Candy Says” so sweetly it makes you want to die, or just lie with her, letting the breathy, warm vocal tones seep into your skin and grab onto your very life. Right now is a moment where the song and her voice reflect my deep sadness, hollowness and hopelessness. The song dismisses life and it all is shown meaningless.

This moment is one of testing emergency lights and warning announcements in the building, so we are all prepared when someone decides they want everyone dead and/or terrified again. This moment is one of trying to find creativity and explore a mind that is still too shallow from lack of experiences. This moment is one of wondering of the mystery of life and how each person is a whole, complete entity- unique unto itself.

A moment of wondering why some people are blessed with so much more beauty, resilience, luck, talent, imagination, expression. This moment is one of awe for my idol. This moment is a realization of a connection that goes beyond anything tangible. It floats just beneath and only a choice few can see.

I am grateful for intelligence, and emotionally strong output that gives me strength for my shortcomings. This moment I feel I live only for the chance to see her again, to feel that power and energy and beauty that only she knows how to give and restore. This moment I see how I missed an opportunity to do more, get her to really see how she has moved and touched me to the core. I wanted to show her somehow that she gave me the courage to live, and see that I’m not alone.

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January 10, 2013. Tags: , , , . Music, writing.

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