Music in your Heart

(Entry below was written on March 10, 2006)

Yesterday I was listening to music mostly all day at work. it makes the day go by faster. I don’t know why this is but music touches me at my very core. And I feel profoundly moved by it. I get completely lost in each nuance, each note, each vocal inflection, each instrument. It totally envelopes me and takes me over. And I’ve always been this way, even when I was younger. I remember when I really started to get into music for the first time it became almost hard for me even.

I grew up around Spanish music as well and as I got older and into high school, I had my own music that I loved, plus some Spanish artists’ CDs and singles that I loved and that were equally as moving. And I didn’t know what to do. I was making myself nuts trying to decide which music to fill the silence with. I wanted to be caught up in each of my favorite song’s essences, and I would find myself repeating them and singing them to myself in my mind, like a cherished memory.

I wanted to be caught up in and nourished by all my favorite music all at once. I was amazed at how music made me forget the real world and live in a fantasy of my own making. I memorized every word. I feel it all in my soul. It makes me happy.

Maybe that’s why I like this particular meditation method I found in which you meditate to music. I think I’ve been meditating (in a sense) to all music all my life. And it’s weird how deeply I connect with it. I find it endlessly fascinating. I know a lot of people do, but I think I feel it more deeply than most. It’s hard to describe.

I was probably a musician in a past life or one of my ancestors was and it’s just a part of who I am, in my DNA, like writing is. One of my great uncles was a writer in Colombia. He wrote for the newspapers and wrote his own stories as well. Everyone gravitates towards certain things that strike a chord with them. There must be a reason for that.

Some people don’t bother to get carried away by music, I just can’t understand that. I couldn’t avoid it if I tried. I get a little scared when I discover a new band or artist and get obsessed with them because I feel like there’s a chance I’ll become overwhelmed by all of the music I need to listen to. It’s another addition that I will have to devote time too, without forgetting all my old favorites.

This morning when I got on the bus, the female bus driver greeted me with ‘good morning precious.’ It surprised me and I said good morning back. As I watched everyone else get on behind me I heard her greet everyone with a ‘good morning precious’ or ‘good morning honey’ and it was not fake at all, it was genuine and heart-felt. I could hear it in her voice.

I thought, what nice words to hear first thing from somebody in the morning. What a wonderful way to start the day…being told you are precious. While she drove the bus she softly sang some church hymns in Spanish to herself all the way to the path train, greeting passengers getting on the bus with the same sweet greetings.

I like being pleasantly surprised by little things like that. I am so sensitive to the way people treat each other and it soothing to observe someone being kind for no reason.

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March 14, 2013. Tags: , , . Music, writing.

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