Live Fast Cause it Won’t Last
(Entry below was written on August 19, 2005)
It’s crazy how fast time passes. I am mostly uncomfortable with the idea of change, drastic change that you don’t even realize while it’s happening. Like a death in the family. I dread to think of my parents getting older, or myself getting older. Growing up, you tend to think that everything will just stay the way it’s always been.
When you look back at yourself in grade school, doesn’t it seem like you were a totally different person? I can’t imagine how elderly people think about themselves. They must think themselves the same as when they were young, who they are at their very core I mean.
Have you ever seen the video of Johnny Cash’s cover of the song Hurt? That video is so powerful and haunting. You get the feeling that he wants you to see him as the person he still is, not just an elderly man whose time has passed. It feels like he’s begging and it moves you when you watch it. It’s impossible for it not to.
Are you really the same person all your life? Or do you become someone completely unrecognizable to your former self? It’s something you can spend forever pondering.
I’m happy to stay in tonight since it was such a gloomy day. It’s nice just to have some time to read about writing, listen to music and relax. On nights like this, I can’t imagine why I ever felt that happiness eluded me.
I have everything I basically need. Without writing, or music or self-expression or family I would be a complete basket case. The possibilities of what can come out of your mind, your life, and your experience are really infinite.
(Title of this post is a line from the Blondie song, Die Young, Stay Pretty)
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