Socially Awkward or Just Independent?

(Entry below was written on 10/12/2009)

There was a discussion today on the Craigslist discussion forums about female friendships. People were complaining that they got tired of their female friends because of cattiness, bullying, competitiveness, bragging, etc. And I thought, OK good, I’m not alone.

I tried having a group of girlfriends once, and maybe they were not the right ones for me, but I couldn’t seem to really connect with any of them. They were too concerned with feigning friendship and being selfish and untrustworthy. And I realized that by not having many friends in high school and college, I wasn’t really missing out on much.

Growing up, my parents used to say that friendships don’t matter as much as family. Because family will outlast every friendship every time. I think sometimes that I would like to have more friends, I find people interesting, but I also know myself. I know how moody I can get, and I get scared of hurting people when I don’t mean to, just because I have days and moments when I can’t bring myself to speak to anyone, and not everyone is understanding about that.

You have to have really amazing friends who really understand and accept you for that to be the case. I care about people, coworkers, acquaintances, but I just don’t feel the need to be in contact with them on a daily basis.

Sure, sometimes I wish I had a group of cool friends (male and female), and maybe they are out there and I will run into them sometime in my life. I hope that can happen for me, as it’s been something that I’ve never really been able to get a handle on.

I’ve had many friends come and go in my life, as everyone has, but most people have a few close friends that have lasted them throughout the years. That’s something I can’t say I have, unfortunately. My sister has a couple of friends that she’s been close to now for about 19 years. To me, that’s a major accomplishment.


June 10, 2013. Uncategorized.


  1. neenslewy replied:

    People walk in and out of our lives for a reason – some are bit-parts, others are players and some support the lead role.
    I am lucky to have many wonderful friendships and can’t imagine my world without that infrastructure. But we are all different. Some of the quietest most withdrawn students I knew back in the school days are now living very fulfilling lives. We change with the years. It is whatever you feel you need. It is about how happy you are. If you can manage positivity and feel better to be detached at this stage in your life, then there is nothing wrong with that.

    I was nomadic throughout my 20’s and the result is I founded many friends all over the place – when I first moved back to the home counties I missed seeing them. Whenever I moved, I missed seeing them. The true friendships have stood the test of time – and now 9 years after my homebound move moved 5 times in that time – but all within the same County) I have my circles of friends back again. It feels good.

  2. ksocorro replied:

    Very well stated, you are so right. We do change over the years and have different needs at different times. Sometimes alone time is necessary to regroup and refocus and that can be OK too. It’s wonderful that you now have a circle of friends that bring you joy.

    Thanks for your thoughts, they are appreciated 🙂

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