Let Yourself Be
(Entry below was handwritten on 3/30/2013)
I once read (I think it was from one of the many zen meditation people I follow on twitter) this statement: If you accept yourself just as you are, do you have any problems? And I think that’s very profound. My problems and worries tend to stem from the idea that I should be ‘better’ somehow.
That I should be someone other than who I am, and those thoughts come from comparing myself to other people and feeling less successful or attractive than them, and thinking I have certain faults or flaws that need correction or improvement.
But if I relax and let myself just be who I am, without being so self-critical, it can be a really liberating thing. I can remove the pressure and just let myself have the space I need to breathe and to think. That’s not such a bad thing at all.
I don’t want to let myself get caught up in the idea that I should be constantly striving for improvement. A lot of the simple enjoyment of life could be missed as a result. Just the simple enjoyment of being alive, breathing in this moment, being grateful, or just daydreaming.
Now the room I write in at the library is empty. This day may not seem like anything special, but it is to me because it is a day in my life, a day that I chose to focus inward, to write this journal entry, to ride a train listening to my favorite band, to observe others and walk around in this world.
It’s very hard for me to trust sometimes that things will work themselves out. Maybe they will, and things just have to be this way right now. Maybe I need to have more faith and more patience.
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