This entry was handwritten on 12/10/13. I’m not sure what provoked it, but the words were in my head and demanding to be written.
Here we are in this reckless world, leading reckless lives that could end at any time. We think we are safe, but it’s just an illusion. It’s a lie that we tell ourselves in order to feel secure, to keep going, to feel like we have some sort of control over our circumstances.
But who are we kidding? Even we, ourselves, can’t be fooled. You think you will do this and that in your life, that you’ll get things done, be productive. And find out who you are in the process.
But the whole point is to remain safe, to ensure your survival, to hope against the unpredictable nature of all things, to hope for the best. All the yearning and striving could be for nothing. Something unforeseen could come along, derailing your plans and your ideas.
We forget how fragile life is, how precious it is, and we fritter it away. We wait for someday to come along. That perfect, magical someday when we will have things all figured out, and we’ll finally start living our lives with a clear purpose, and motivation to make the most of it that we can.
I wish work wasn’t necessary so I could spend my days reading, writing, relaxing, exercising, volunteering to help others, travelling, and truly living. But having to earn money to earn a living throws everything off. It’s like that artist said in a movie I once saw: “We do yearn for freedom so, don’t we?” Those are probably among the truest words ever spoken.
I don’t know the meaning of life, but I hope I can one day learn how to truly enjoy it and get a real taste of my freedom in this world, and take full advantage of it.
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