Moment of Clarity

Prompt: Moment of clarity

Tell us about a time you’d been trying to solve a knotty
problem — maybe it was an interpersonal problem, a life
problem,— and you had a moment of clarity
when the solution appeared to you, as though you were
struck by lightning.

My Response:

I wasn’t actually trying to solve a problem, but one day while I was in the shower, I had an a-ha moment. For some reason I was thinking about how people seem to always want pity, myself included at the time.

A big part of what I thought about were things like ‘poor me,’ ‘if only others could see how difficult things are for me,’ etc. I would think about how I dwelled on negative things that I have been told and hung on to them, to no one’s detriment but my own.

Any suddenly, I realized it. That’s what it means when we are told not to play the role of victim. It’s better to release the past and all the past stories you tell yourself about your life and what has happened to you, and why you deserve all this pity from others. No one cares. Everyone has been through difficulties and deals with them differently.

Some people just need to vent, and need a kind ear to listen to them without interruption. Some people seek advice about how to make things better. And some people just bottle up their issue inside them, never seeking relief or help. Instead they choose to feel sorry for themselves and feel that the world owes them something.

I realized that this is faulty thinking. And everyone deals with their own struggles that we can’t possibly understand. We may try to make others see what it’s like to walk in our shoes, but they can’t truly feel everything that happens to us the way we do. We process things through the lens of our past experiences, and our own beliefs about who we are.

I felt this realization was a moment of maturity for me. I won’t get caught in the trap of ‘woe is me’ anymore, because I have too many things in my life to be grateful for.

There is no reason to focus on what’s lacking, when our blessings are way more abundant. All we can do is show others kindness, be willing to listen, and do our best for ourselves in our lives. No one is coming along to save the day. We need to make a plan to save ourselves when the going gets tough.

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March 25, 2014. Tags: , , . writing.

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